Thirst for God

As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and behold the face of God?

Psalm 42:1-2 

In 2001, I experienced what is known as “the dark night of the soul”.  If you look up the term, you might find a definition like this, “spiritual depression, feeling hopeless, isolated, questioning everything about yourself and your life, and searching for a sense of purpose and meaning”.  For me, it was all these things and more – like a physical punch to the gut that completely knocked me out.

It occurred because of a termination from a position that I had worked so hard to attain, after putting my whole self into a start-up company for more than three years. Suddenly, I did not have a job and needed a new one to support my family. But emotionally and physically, I could do nothing but reach out to God.
I truly felt to the core of my being what was written in Psalm 42 – my soul thirsts for the living God.

While I should have been busy sending out resumes, networking, and searching for a new position, I could only take care of my family, attend worship and go to Bible Study. I recognized my true dependence on God because I could do nothing of my own accord. After a while, a friend at Bible Study offered a free coaching session to help me get back on track. So, we prepared a written outline of the kind of job that I hoped to get, the salary, the timeframe, etc. and I truly left the rest up to God. Unbelievably, and without any effort on my part, a former employer unexpectedly called me and offered me a position that met all of my criteria. This incredible experience has taught me that God is so good and he is dependable when we need him the most.

Lord God, we can’t ever thank you enough for all the goodness of this life, even in times of deep darkness. You are gracious to us although we don’t deserve your mercy. Help us always to thirst only for you to fill our souls and not depend on our own abilities. Amen.